'Universal' health care, yeah, right!

My boyfriend lives in England. There, health care really is universal. If you need a dentist, that's covered. Here? Nope, get some private insurance for that, please. You need glasses? There it's covered, no problem. Here? Nope, get private insurance for that, too. How about if you have a cyst on your eye? Well, over there, it's covered, because the Brits know what 'universal' actually means. Here? Well that will cost you $350.00 because it's not covered, and is considered 'cosmetic' surgery. So what happened to this so-called 'Canadian' idea, or should I say ideal, of complete, total and actual universal health care? How come so many ppl can't afford basic medical attention? Why are we pushing so hard to become more American? Is this what the conservatives have done? Yes, it is. The conservatives WANT us to become more like the states so that eventually we can have a North American Union and merge with them. How lovely. We, who boast in such a superior manor about how great our country is compared to them, we, who can't even provide basic medical services to all Canadians, no matter what their income level. In France and England and many other places in Europe, they actually have UNIVERSAL health care. Doctors will come to your house, examine you, diagnose you and prescribe your meds all for free. Here? Good luck getting your doctor, if you're lucky enough to have one, to come to your house and do all that for no charge. Don't make me laugh. My doctor will make house calls...for $35. min. If you need your doctor's signature it'll cost you $10-$30. How about if your child needs crutches? Well that's gonna run you about $50. I learn more about what's NOT covered by OHIP, Ontario Health Insurance Plan, than what is covered. That's because more and more services are being  removed from the list of coverage. This is rediculous! We all pay taxes, taxes that are supposed to go toward this 'universal' health care coverage we're so famous for and proud of. We should be ashamed of our health system, not proud. We should be hiding our faces instead of bragging about how much better we are than Americans, when in reality we're becoming them. Check yourselves Canadians, we're not that great anymore. We're severely lacking doctors and facilities. We need nurses and care givers. We need to stop bitching about paycheques and start bitching about the whole system. Yes, it's a stressful career, but no, it doesn't require a paycheque that nearly doubles the average Canadian's salary. I've been in enough hospitals to know that nurses are the backbone of the health care system, but I have also seen nurses take 45 mins to answer a patient's call because they were eating lunch during their shift. Not everyone is great at their job, but not everyone 'deserves' a huge cheque just because they chose a career that is stressful and challenging. I'm sick and tired of this country's attitude toward health. Everyone knows that it's all going in the toilet, but no one will actually stand up and do anything real about it. Private insurance covers more than OHIP and costs you more, plus you still have to pay into OHIP, or your province's health system. Maybe the states have it right, we just all pay for everything and those who can't pay, well they can just go die in a hole somewhere.

Facebook pictures & the self esteem of young women

I'm so sick of seeing all these young women who post pics of themselves deep throating a beer bottle or some other such stupidity. It makes me think that all they're trying to do is a) show off, b) want sexual attention from men they've never met, and c) prove how open they are. Well all it proves is that in reality you have a very low opinion of yourself and need strangers to tell you how sexy you are over the internet. I find it sad and not just a little bit pathetic. The women, and I want to stress WOMEN, not little teenagers who are barely legal, who have high self esteem, loving families and romantic relationships, don't have those pics up. The reason? They have nothing to prove! Unfortunately the young women of today's generation think that the only way to meet someone is online, and the only way to get that 'special' someone is to be hotter than the last girl. I have news for you: he's NOT special! He wants to fuck you, he doesn't really care if you have a bit of chub or wtvr, he wants to make sure he can do you missionary style and not have to put a bag over your face. Depending on the guy, he prolly doesn't even care what your face looks like, just your tits. Which you all so graciously show off, so the guys can grocery shop through their friends lists and choose which slut to do next. The fact that younger and younger girls are falling victim to this mentality only makes it worse. Do they know that if they are under 18 and post a provocative pic they can be charged with child pornography? They would be listed as sex offenders for years and possibly the rest of their lives. All for a pic that makes guys want to fuck you? Really? Is it worth it? I don't think it is. I wish that someone would tell these girls/wannabe women that this is not how you want society to perceive you. When you 'meet' someone, it's in PERSON, not in a chat room or on facebook. Sex is not something you write in a private message and masturbate to. A relationship usually involves ppl having physical contact. There are so many females on facebook that only want to show off their assets, and trust me, most of them don't have any to show off, just sayin', or have 'relationships' from the 'safety' of their laptops. Personal, human contact is so lacking in this age of instant gratification. No one even seems to notice or mind that all these young women and girls are growing up confusing sexy with slutty. I understand that it is widely acceptable that sex is now something you do on the first date/meeting. I understand. Really I do. What I don't understand is why. When did sex turn into love and vice versa? So many ppl out there are gonna be so fucked up by this phenomena and no one will be there to help them because they're all from the same generation. These are the ppl that are supposed to run everything? Really? It's sad and pathetic. How did we let this happen? Being online gives ppl power because it's truly anonymous. Even with your name up there and all your info, no one's reading it, and if they are, beware. Ppl get brave when they're sitting at home behind a monitor. That monitor won't protect you. It won't be there if you get stalked by the one 'friend' you have on facebook who only wants to hurt you and now can, because HE actually read your info. The young ppl are so desperate not to 'lose' touch with ANYONE that they put their personal phone numbers on their public profiles. Well, where are all your hundreds of 'friends' when you're home is being broken into and you're being assaulted? They'll be there to comment when you're out of the hospital, or you can read them from the other side, as so often happens the victim dies. If you don't know someone personally don't add them. Ahhhh, but here's the rub: how can you globalize your world and mind if you only add those you know? How do you go about meeting ppl from other cultures and learn from them? Simple; make a fake profile if you only want the attention of strangers. Make up a name, make it sexy, who cares, if it's not your real info? Then you get the 'high' of being 'popular' and 'wanted' on an online forum, but you don't have creeps who only want to know where you live, knowing where you live. Understand? Please, don't ever be 'that' girl. The one who takes self pics from angles, who shows off her cleavage and makes sexual innuendos on all her comments and statuses. I really feel sorry for 'that' girl. I hope I live long enough to see what happens to these women when they ACTUALLY mature. I hope it's not just a string of reports of yet another young woman found in the ditch after one of her facebook 'friends' decided to pay her her a visit.

Best friends....

In my mind a best friend is someone who is there for you, who understands you and who knows what's going on in your head better than anyone else. You know why? Because a 'best' friend is supposed to listen to your troubles and share theirs with you. Unfortunately, my best friend didn't get that memo. I asked him the other day why we don't talk and he said "Because we're not a couple." WTF??? No, we're not, I have a boyfriend, but we ARE supposed to be 'BEST' friends and best friends talk to each other. He tells girls he's barely known for a minute all about how lonely he is, how he has to put on a fake smile and make ppl believe he's ok. Well the only person he's putting a fake smile on for is me, he doesn't go anywhere or talk to ppl during the week. So is he really that lonely and upset about it? Will he really only talk to his girlfriend about all this stuff? Why does he think this way? The only answers I can come up with are a) He's ID boy. He relies on his ID to get girls. By that I mean he attracts them by being really open with them right off the bat. He's willing to share SO much about himself, with, as far as she knows, only her. She must be special, so she falls for it and they hook up. Or it's b) he honestly thinks that if he gets too emotionally close to me either he or I will assume we're in a relationship. Dumbass. I don't know how to explain to him that best friends are the ones who know each the best, chicks will come and go and all that shit, but I think he's been pulling this line/act on chicks for so long that he's afraid if he shares anything personal with me, I'll get the wrong impression or he'll get confused. I wish I knew what it was. I think I'm old enough to know the difference between a friend sharing their feelings and emotions about life and love and someone trying to get into my pants. It's so frustrating! I can't confront him about any of it because he'll just get defensive or angry or both. I tell him everything about me, he knows how I feel about things and I don't think he's my boyfriend. I think he's my best friend and he's the one I'm going to open up to and be honest with. He doesn't look at it the same way tho. I feel like I'm just here to keep him company and pay half the rent and bills. It could have been anyone, I'm not special because he's my best friend, I'm just someone to split the bills with. That sucks ass big time. Here I thought I had this great guy for a best friend, but now I feel like that was all a lie. A few of the girls he's hit on over the years have shown me the MSN convos where he spills his guts to them, about things I never knew about, I had to pretend like I knew, about how lonely he is, how no one loves him, how he has a heart of gold and so much love to give to someone. PUHLEASE! I've seen this act a thousand times in others and I'm worried that because it is an act, a way for him to get girls to be interested in him, he has no idea of how to actually share his real feelings with anyone other than a prospective mate. It's sad, really. What happens when she thinks she's found this great, sensitive guy who can easily and readily share his feelings, but in reality she's found someone who has no idea how to share his REAL feelings with her? Once he's played that card what else is there to share? She'll realise that she's in for a lot of xbox and not much else. I wondered for a while if he wasn't being as open with me as I was with him because of my pain. But why would he want to put on an act in his own home? Isn't home where you're supposed to let your hair down and relax and be yourself? I'm myself, I tell it like it is and all that crap. I admit, I keep  things from him, but only because I know if I bring certain things up he'll react badly and it'll start a fight and he'll punch a wall and walk away. No coping skills. I can't tell him what's bugging me about him because he takes it as a personal attack on all that he is. He doesn't see it as maybe he could clean up a little after himself, "you cook and I'll do the dishes" doesn't mean, "Make a huge mess and use all the dishes you can and I'll clean up the whole apartment". How do I let him know this? I can't. Not yet. When I figure out a way to explain it to him without him thinking I want to be his girlfriend, I'll tell him. Best friends support each other and are there for each other, well he's been there for me, for sure, but he only wants random chicks he doesn't know to be there for him. So what does that make me? Certainly not his 'best' friend, more like a roommate, we share space and bills. It's very sad to realise that you've lost your best friend when they live with you.

Thunderstorms...

I have never liked thunderstorms. Ever. I have always run and hidden under something or in a closet. As long as I was safe from the lightning's skeletal fingers coming through the window and grabbing me and electrocuting me. I have always been this way, I would scream with the first thunder clap and be in motion for the first flash of lightning. My friends would make fun of me, my husband would tease me, I would try to hide my fear from the kids so it wouldn't rub off onto them, they now both love thunderstorms, so I guess I did alright. I am one of those ppl who can tell you when there's one coming. I can smell it in the air. It smells like static electricity. There's a mood, a somberness in the air, the animals are quiet, so are the birds. The hair on my arms would stand straight up, and I would know that we were gonna get hit with a storm. I remember once, we were at the grocery store, my ex, the kids and I. When we went in it was a beautiful warm summer day, but when we left...oh it looked the same...but it smelled different, and felt different. I would say to my hubby, "Quick! Help me get the groceries and kids in the car! There's gonna be a storm and I don't wanna get caught in it." I know that if you're in your car when a storm hits, it's the safest place to be to avoid getting hit by lightning. I want to be in my home, in my bed and safe. He rolls his eyes and doesn't move any quicker, which makes me angry along with panicked so you can imagine what THAT car ride was like. We didn't fight in front of the kids, so we sat in silence the whole way home. Sure enough though, as soon as we got everything in the house it would start. A big crack of thunder then a few Mississippi's later the flash of lightning. We lived close to the airport so we rarely lost power, but just in case, we stayed off the phone and the computer. I'd be in the living room trying not to freak out in front of the kids, they would be playing and super happy cuz there was no bath tonight, a rule of mine that I thought I just came up with for no reason when I had kids. Not so. A few years into motherhood and marriage, I sat down and really tried to think of why I was SO terrified of storms. I couldn't think of anything at first, but then I remembered. I was 4 or 5 years old. My dad was giving me a bath. We had a beautiful cast iron claw footed tub. Black on the outside, white and slippery on the inside. I loved it because it was like my own personal pool. We had wooden slatted blinds on the window in the bathroom. I guess my mother wanted to make it look like some kind of tropical bathroom, she failed when she put the cartoon Ziggy wall paper up on the walls. We were just playing in the tub when my mom called for my dad. It was the '70's so he left me alone for a minute, which we would NEVER do nowadays lol, and in that minute Mother Nature had a hissy fit. A loud clap of thunder, along with a huge gust of wind, SLAMMED the wooden blinds shut, just as the lightening hit the light pole outside and plunged me into absolute darkness. The wind had shut the bathroom door, I was alone, in a huge, slippery tub, in the dark and I thought GIANTS had invaded. The imagination of a 4-5 yr old coupled with the first storm she'll ever remember is not a good combination. My dad was my life and he was gone and I sat there for what in reality was only a few seconds, because he hadn't actually forgotten about me, but to me felt like hours. He came in and picked me out of the tub, soaking wet, and held me close to his chest. I felt safe in his arms, but ever since I've had a terrible fear of thunder storms. So imagine now, I'm 36 and live with my roommate. I get woken up by the loudest crack of thunder I can recall, I scream, I'm in the dark and alone, in seconds Scott's there and holding me and telling me it's going to be ok. I'm not as hysterically terrified of storms anymore. I've matured and now I just hide under the blankets if I'm already in bed or try to ignore it if I'm with company. I like to think my dad was watching over me and made sure that Scott was awake at 4:30 this morning, waiting for when he was needed. Thanks dad :)

The genrational gap has reared it's ugly head again...

So my roommate/best friend, Scott, is talking to this chick on xbox live, he has never met her, doesn't have her on facebook. He's telling her how if he drops his pants she'll see his foot long. Now I hate to be a fuddy-duddy, and my other friends can attest to the fact that I'm not a square, I've had some pretty fast quips back and very sexual and funny. Anyway, when I told bawdy jokes or made sexual innuendos it was always with close friends who understood that just because I'm making jokes with/about you or just plain keeping up with your comebacks, it didn't mean I was gonna fuck them. However, I've noticed that this generation, who grew up talking to complete strangers online, have absolutely no qualms about starting up a conversation with an overtly sexual remark. It's as if as soon as you 'meet' someone online, it goes straight to sex. It's not just chat rooms, or facebook or MSN, it's everywhere, anyone you meet online, it seems, is looking for sex. It doesn't matter how sweet or 'nice' they seem, they are talking to you for one reason; they want to fuck you. Plain and simple, that's the only reason guys get online. Especially the 18-24 yr old men. I could put Scott to shame with the things I can come up with, but when I first met him and tried to be myself, he would always assume it meant that I wanted to fuck him...uh no, dumb ass, it means I can make better jokes than you can, and ppl my age understand that it's just a joke, or funny quip or saying, relax there cowboy, not every woman wants you. Once men/boys understand that their not god's gift to anyone, we'll all feel better.I live with a man who's 23 and full of hormones with no girlfriend to help out. All he has is who's online. I feel bad for him for that. Guys have lost all social skills, Scott is the shiest guy you'll meet in person....but get him online and he's a sex craved asshole. If a female plays on xbox with him and his online friends, they all fight to get her attention and fall all over themselves to impress her. But instead of it being natural, like in the wild, with all the showing off and preening, it's anonymous and you have no idea if the person on the other end of that mic is a very feminine sounding male, which there are plenty of them,( My friend in high school would call my school office and say he was my mother and they believed him) or an ugly girl, or a married/in a relationship girl...you have no idea who you're actually talking with when you're online, ever see Catfish? No one learns though, and the internet isn't going anywhere, but I still feel badly for all the ppl who are growing up in an age where human contact and interaction are second to masturbating in front of your monitor.