Best friends....

In my mind a best friend is someone who is there for you, who understands you and who knows what's going on in your head better than anyone else. You know why? Because a 'best' friend is supposed to listen to your troubles and share theirs with you. Unfortunately, my best friend didn't get that memo. I asked him the other day why we don't talk and he said "Because we're not a couple." WTF??? No, we're not, I have a boyfriend, but we ARE supposed to be 'BEST' friends and best friends talk to each other. He tells girls he's barely known for a minute all about how lonely he is, how he has to put on a fake smile and make ppl believe he's ok. Well the only person he's putting a fake smile on for is me, he doesn't go anywhere or talk to ppl during the week. So is he really that lonely and upset about it? Will he really only talk to his girlfriend about all this stuff? Why does he think this way? The only answers I can come up with are a) He's ID boy. He relies on his ID to get girls. By that I mean he attracts them by being really open with them right off the bat. He's willing to share SO much about himself, with, as far as she knows, only her. She must be special, so she falls for it and they hook up. Or it's b) he honestly thinks that if he gets too emotionally close to me either he or I will assume we're in a relationship. Dumbass. I don't know how to explain to him that best friends are the ones who know each the best, chicks will come and go and all that shit, but I think he's been pulling this line/act on chicks for so long that he's afraid if he shares anything personal with me, I'll get the wrong impression or he'll get confused. I wish I knew what it was. I think I'm old enough to know the difference between a friend sharing their feelings and emotions about life and love and someone trying to get into my pants. It's so frustrating! I can't confront him about any of it because he'll just get defensive or angry or both. I tell him everything about me, he knows how I feel about things and I don't think he's my boyfriend. I think he's my best friend and he's the one I'm going to open up to and be honest with. He doesn't look at it the same way tho. I feel like I'm just here to keep him company and pay half the rent and bills. It could have been anyone, I'm not special because he's my best friend, I'm just someone to split the bills with. That sucks ass big time. Here I thought I had this great guy for a best friend, but now I feel like that was all a lie. A few of the girls he's hit on over the years have shown me the MSN convos where he spills his guts to them, about things I never knew about, I had to pretend like I knew, about how lonely he is, how no one loves him, how he has a heart of gold and so much love to give to someone. PUHLEASE! I've seen this act a thousand times in others and I'm worried that because it is an act, a way for him to get girls to be interested in him, he has no idea of how to actually share his real feelings with anyone other than a prospective mate. It's sad, really. What happens when she thinks she's found this great, sensitive guy who can easily and readily share his feelings, but in reality she's found someone who has no idea how to share his REAL feelings with her? Once he's played that card what else is there to share? She'll realise that she's in for a lot of xbox and not much else. I wondered for a while if he wasn't being as open with me as I was with him because of my pain. But why would he want to put on an act in his own home? Isn't home where you're supposed to let your hair down and relax and be yourself? I'm myself, I tell it like it is and all that crap. I admit, I keep  things from him, but only because I know if I bring certain things up he'll react badly and it'll start a fight and he'll punch a wall and walk away. No coping skills. I can't tell him what's bugging me about him because he takes it as a personal attack on all that he is. He doesn't see it as maybe he could clean up a little after himself, "you cook and I'll do the dishes" doesn't mean, "Make a huge mess and use all the dishes you can and I'll clean up the whole apartment". How do I let him know this? I can't. Not yet. When I figure out a way to explain it to him without him thinking I want to be his girlfriend, I'll tell him. Best friends support each other and are there for each other, well he's been there for me, for sure, but he only wants random chicks he doesn't know to be there for him. So what does that make me? Certainly not his 'best' friend, more like a roommate, we share space and bills. It's very sad to realise that you've lost your best friend when they live with you.