Thunderstorms...

I have never liked thunderstorms. Ever. I have always run and hidden under something or in a closet. As long as I was safe from the lightning's skeletal fingers coming through the window and grabbing me and electrocuting me. I have always been this way, I would scream with the first thunder clap and be in motion for the first flash of lightning. My friends would make fun of me, my husband would tease me, I would try to hide my fear from the kids so it wouldn't rub off onto them, they now both love thunderstorms, so I guess I did alright. I am one of those ppl who can tell you when there's one coming. I can smell it in the air. It smells like static electricity. There's a mood, a somberness in the air, the animals are quiet, so are the birds. The hair on my arms would stand straight up, and I would know that we were gonna get hit with a storm. I remember once, we were at the grocery store, my ex, the kids and I. When we went in it was a beautiful warm summer day, but when we left...oh it looked the same...but it smelled different, and felt different. I would say to my hubby, "Quick! Help me get the groceries and kids in the car! There's gonna be a storm and I don't wanna get caught in it." I know that if you're in your car when a storm hits, it's the safest place to be to avoid getting hit by lightning. I want to be in my home, in my bed and safe. He rolls his eyes and doesn't move any quicker, which makes me angry along with panicked so you can imagine what THAT car ride was like. We didn't fight in front of the kids, so we sat in silence the whole way home. Sure enough though, as soon as we got everything in the house it would start. A big crack of thunder then a few Mississippi's later the flash of lightning. We lived close to the airport so we rarely lost power, but just in case, we stayed off the phone and the computer. I'd be in the living room trying not to freak out in front of the kids, they would be playing and super happy cuz there was no bath tonight, a rule of mine that I thought I just came up with for no reason when I had kids. Not so. A few years into motherhood and marriage, I sat down and really tried to think of why I was SO terrified of storms. I couldn't think of anything at first, but then I remembered. I was 4 or 5 years old. My dad was giving me a bath. We had a beautiful cast iron claw footed tub. Black on the outside, white and slippery on the inside. I loved it because it was like my own personal pool. We had wooden slatted blinds on the window in the bathroom. I guess my mother wanted to make it look like some kind of tropical bathroom, she failed when she put the cartoon Ziggy wall paper up on the walls. We were just playing in the tub when my mom called for my dad. It was the '70's so he left me alone for a minute, which we would NEVER do nowadays lol, and in that minute Mother Nature had a hissy fit. A loud clap of thunder, along with a huge gust of wind, SLAMMED the wooden blinds shut, just as the lightening hit the light pole outside and plunged me into absolute darkness. The wind had shut the bathroom door, I was alone, in a huge, slippery tub, in the dark and I thought GIANTS had invaded. The imagination of a 4-5 yr old coupled with the first storm she'll ever remember is not a good combination. My dad was my life and he was gone and I sat there for what in reality was only a few seconds, because he hadn't actually forgotten about me, but to me felt like hours. He came in and picked me out of the tub, soaking wet, and held me close to his chest. I felt safe in his arms, but ever since I've had a terrible fear of thunder storms. So imagine now, I'm 36 and live with my roommate. I get woken up by the loudest crack of thunder I can recall, I scream, I'm in the dark and alone, in seconds Scott's there and holding me and telling me it's going to be ok. I'm not as hysterically terrified of storms anymore. I've matured and now I just hide under the blankets if I'm already in bed or try to ignore it if I'm with company. I like to think my dad was watching over me and made sure that Scott was awake at 4:30 this morning, waiting for when he was needed. Thanks dad :)